hiiiii :D ★ i'm newgen but pretty cool (and smart and funny and cute and adorable) ★ ★ get LOUD‼️‼️ ★ GET CRAZY‼️‼️ ★ loves raves (but hasnt been to one yet)★ ★ 3DS FC: 4183-9047-9648, EN/FR, OG Homebrew dev. lovin tha shrimp!!!! ★ ★ Mobile game enjoyer!! FGO, CRK, HSR, Unite, DGS ★
I think with how much raw jealousy that's in my heart, it'll actually kill me. Twitter really is the worst website known to man. I see trans women, they laugh, clearly head over heels for each other, and I get a searing sense of hatred that it isn't me. I'm not as cute, as slim, as happy, as free as the people I'm seeing. I look down at myself and sigh. It's all the time and makes me miserable. Walking around with their leashes and collars, doing things that you can only get away with by being pretty, going on dates with their girlfriends, physically. It makes me sick. I just want to actually have fun for once.
It sounds silly, but a project like this would be really nice for me. Every single entry to the playlist, be it A or B, really mean a lot to me. YTPMV feels so nice to listen to, multiple people's personal interpretations of the same song. You can feel the personality through it, even down to the sources they chose to use or even the visuals.
Also, this is continuing the writing after my shift. I got some new games to play, and I think those would really help spread my horizons, game-wise. Needy Streamer Overdose (yes, I know.), Endless Monday; Dreams and Deadlines, and finally Signalis.
Signalis, I'm the most familiar with, since it was the lesbian robot game for a good while. EM:DD Sounds fun, and looks really cute. I'd love to try it out. Overload was a gift.
Hello, dear Reader. It's been a while. Things have been busy for us; we've had no time. T-Blockers ran out since our job didn't pay us for a week, which was great. My weekly round up might be a bit lighter than anticipated, a lot was achieved but at the same time not really. I finally rigged my model, ( There's boobs it. That's why it's spoiled.) and that'll be fun to experiment with. Some fun renders of D'Moon as well, adding those in because we're proud of how they came out.
It's still in a weird place, since it still feels incredibly fraudulent as an individual. But we're trying. Six more months, more exercise, and we will get our body back.
We had a lot more to say, but seemingly forgot a lot of it. Damn.
The injection was a day late. Hours full of nerves. It doesn't even know what the issue was. Turns out, doing it slower makes it way more painful, which is why it felt a certain kind of way when we did it like that. It's supposed to be fast. We think it's just a matter of being a very weird thing too interested in sharp objects.
It feels weird though. A day late, and for what? Our rhythm has been messed with, again, and it's our own fault. Agitating.
Barley any blood either. It's getting better at this.
I want another personal home server that I can use over the internet so I can stream music to myself again, but I forgot how to do that, and I'm too prideful to look it up
The worst and best, day for many, many humans alike. Personally, I have to train. I have to get my body in tip-top shape. Last year proved to me that time is slipping faster than I can catch up, but with constant routine and grinding, the body I want will finally be mine. No more wishing I was something else, someone else, not this year.
As silly as it may seem, there is a mental Goku. He is outweighing Vegeta. He believes in me in a way that nothing else ever has, and I don't want to let him down. I will train every single day, until July 25th. This is a promise to myself. I know I'll miss a few days, but that's okay, I don't want to on purpose. I want the body I should have come with. But that's okay too, my determination outweighs any of this. Saving money, eating right, exercising well, and having fun. That is the way I choose to live.
A Couple stickers me and freinds have made over the past few weeks. I've been in a drawing drought due to a lack of confidence, but hopefully it'll pass soon. Just wanted to post them because i think they're silly and fun.
Shot was taken yesterday before work (12/28, 6:18PM, 4.5MG Shot.), felt a little miserable. Got home today, slept early. Woke up, took a shower, and felt insanely better. No much of an update, but i did get very very nervous doing The Shot again. TEQ LR [Relentlessly Surging Power] (Wrathful) Broly's active OST got me through it. I think, associating a different song that i like makes it more bearable.
This time, it really bugged me, since it felt expressly more personal than the last two. I had to push it in twice, in a thinner part of my leg. Every push i felt it tear muscle and inner flesh, it was excruciating but also strangely enjoyable. I have no idea how to explain that feeling. Mixed. Anyways, Reader, I have to go to work soon. Hopefully, you have a good day today.
The journey to the perfect body will be realized in the next six months.
The needles it got were the wrong size the first time: 3ML instead of 1ML. Now it has a box of these sitting in its room, staring over to remind it of a silly mistake. It wishes it could return these. What if the roommates see? What will they think, that it's doing illegal drugs? (Well, it is, but you know what it means, Reader.)
One inch of steel needle really makes you respect how big an inch is when it's on something else. Scary.
It has been done. The first two injections, all by myself. 12/13 and 12/20, respectively. The first time, I think I might have messed up, because the body bled a lot and felt like trying to control a feral beast for the next week. The second time, there was hardly any. Felt like a pinprick, too. The feeling is weirdly just as I imagined it, but... strangely addicting? I don't know. Stabbing this body again, watching, feeling a needle push its way through our own flesh, it's a very mixed bag of emotions for it and me. The anxiety is intense, but once it's past that, I'm totally into it—sort of addicting.
The first measured dose was 2.3MG, the second was 4MG. That could explain why i felt so off during the initial phase, but I think it's just because of the difference and lack of HRT this body has had access to in the past month or so. Plus, a week without doing my usual Spray-On Gender technique felt weird, since I have conditioned myself never to forget.
December is usually a month of promises for a lot of people, and yet again, this body yearns for me to condition it to be in the state it wants. To a better me, a better future, and for all the people to whom this mind has grown attached.
:btr_ikuyo_panic: 
:aftonsparv: 
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